Sunday, October 02, 2005

I'm down. Just kidding, I'm resilient!

Every time I fail at something, I always find a way to bounce back. This is one of the traits that I truly like about myself, because it allows me to take risks and know that I can allow failing to be a step forward. The windsurfing scene at Cape Cod is filled with vibrant personalities who support each other through learning windsurfing, but among the crowd, you'll find a mundane who claims to have never fallen off of his board for years. He's never cold, but his turns and manuvers are safe and slow, and if we weren't so captured by the fact that he doesn't ever fall, we would be saving these glances for watching the tide come in and watching glass corrode. This reminded me of how I want to live. I don't want to ever be the woman that never fails, and is still swimming in the kiddie pool with duckie wings and an oxegon tank. But I want to find that balance of safety that keeps me happy and risks that keep me from wondering, "what if?"

I somehow feel compelled to show what emotional elements are inspiring me to act in these crazy ways. The last day I saw my high school classmates was graduation night. Gossip was over, because we had already ostracized those, who weren't going to Ivy league schools, so I was let into the conversations of the girls who made the superlative list. They were trying to figure out who would make the most impact after school. They followed by describing the traits of this incredible person, and I suddenly got this excersion of energy. I stood in the outside of the circle, where I usually was, and I smiled. I smiled, because they were describing me. From that point on, I had this feeling that any minute, I was due for a major impact on society.

This flashback is flickering in my mind, because Saatchi Saatchi wants to see my portfolio. They are a really good advertising firm, and I said something to make them give me slightly more than a New York minute. I wonder what I said. I must have been tired and they mistook me for an idiot savance. Well, either way, they are half right. I'm either talented or completely lost. This is my ticket to the next step in my cloud and yet I can't help but wonder how my board is doing...

Yeah right. I refused to sell any of my equipment. My board is the backbone to my resilience. I couldn't lie, but that would have made one powerful ending.