Saturday, July 12, 2008

Think Positive

After reading the past few posts, I realized how negative, annoying and cocky I can be. I try to always think on the positive side, but in a certain light, when I start writing, what I feel will shine through. I'm not gonna lie, in the past few weeks, I've felt overconfident and negative. It's now clicking that I should make this blog experience more enjoyable for everyone. When I first started this project over three years ago, I made up a series of rules that I've been seriously breaking recently:

Rule 1: Don't use my blog to vent; no one benefits from this but myself
Rule 2: Don't talk about relationships; this behavior ruins gawkers' lives, and bad relationships are not something I want to look back on
Rule 3: Stick to entrepreneurial and passion-driven adventures; no one wants to hear about my fun day in the park
Rule 4: Don't revise already published posts, it doesn't reflect how I feel in that moment

So, I have broken all of these rules, and since I'm no longer really into what the next big business venture is, this project has turned into a semi-literary, semi-this is my life kind of ride.

But I want to try to stick to the rules, and this includes leaving in the negativity posted a few days ago. I would like to know from people who read regularly, what you particularly enjoy reading about.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


...Kinda bummed she stopped touring.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

We pack and deliver like UPS trucks

I'm finding it hard to write about things recently. I can't bitch about anyone, because they're all reading my blog. And I just finished reading Chelsea Handler's newest book, so I'm have this particular drive in making fun of my friends and family, especially since my vacation begins with my dad opting the family out of going to Maine, because our cheap hotel of choice was booked. I guess it will have to wait.

So, this morning, I got up early as usual to go gymming before work and was in an apathetic morning mood, which is odd because I'm a morning person. I'm walking out of the door of my building and this Hispanic guy with missing teeth and dirty clothes stops the door from shutting and begins to stumble into the building. "Umm, excuse me, umm do you live here?" I tried to be confrontational, but he mumbled angrily back at me in Spanish and walked back inside my building. I would have done something, but I was feeling especially careless and I was already 15 minutes late to my usual gym arrival, and although I know no one really cares, I have this paranoia that the gym crowd judges me for sleeping in an extra 15 minutes instead of working out earlier. After my workout, I came back to my building to discover the same man attempting to carry an Ikea couch-bed frame out the door. I stood there for a few minutes, appalled that I may have just been an assessory to a burglary, and I felt it gave me permission to watch him struggle to push this contraption, by himself, down a set of stairs and through two sets of doors. He looked up at me and motioned me to help him by nodding at the other end of the frame. "I'm sorry, I have to..." and I bolted downstairs and knocked repetitively on the super's door. He came to the door, and I immediately started explaining what had happened. He interrupted and told me to never let anyone in, who doesn't have a key. He then proceeded up stairs, and I took the elevator making it a point to miss the ground floor on the way up.

-- switch switch --

Hitotoki is going to publish my stuff, and I love my new editor. He said that my writing is "crisp and clear", and that I describe images so well. I think we're gonna hit it off, because he is great at the criticism sandwich. You know, you give someone two fluffy compliments, and somewhere in between, when they're not looking, you slip in the meat. He wants me to work further on a story and describe how I feel in certain parts, and I thought the last time I truly described how I felt about something, I ended up taking an impromptu weekend trip to "rest" at a mental institution. So perhaps I had a little knot that I had to kneed out before continuing with this pursuit, but I am seriously intrigued by this publication. And I was told that Hitotoki may soon go into print, which is perfect.

-- what what --

When I heard that the fam wasn't going to Ogunquit, Maine, I was a little upset. We go every damn year, and I don't think the fact that we're all technically adults should impede on continuing a family tradition, not to mention that half of the town is made up of hotels. I arranged to stay with my friend, Anna, at her house up there, and have myself a Maine event. It was pouring Friday morning in Boston, and the house was chilly as usual. It took more effort than anticipated, but I made it on the road before noon. As soon as we crossed the Maine border, the clouds parted, and the sun upped the temperature 15 degrees. I arrived at 1, and we immediately headed to the beach to overdose on Vitamin D. I could tell that I was malnourished, because I could actually feel my body sucking the warm sunshine out of the air. Anna and I talked about coming here, when we were younger and I realized that the strange things that I missed about coming to Ogunquit, she also shared. Like, both of our parents refused to pay for snacks at the beach, so we put on our entrepreneurial hats and collected cans from all of the nasty trash bins until we got enough to buy a carton of fries from Charly's. And there was nothing like the feeling of getting fries over your parents demand, because it was your own hard earned money, especially at age 7. We also talked about the yearly talent show that Robert(family friend) would initiate. No one would be allowed to eat unless they performed, and I always had something well prepared to keep from starvation.

I tried my best to fit in all of the standard traditions in the 24-hours I was there: Candy store, surf shop, a run along the Marginal way, beach, actually going in the 45 degree water, digging a hole, and fireworks, which has recently been replaced with karaoke night, although I would totally take fireworks over karaoke any day. I think I finally overgrew the digging of the hole. Why work, when you don't have to?

I headed back to Boston Saturday around noon, and apparently so did many others, because it took me three hours to get back. I took a long nap and woke up just in time for mom's BBQ and the arrival of adults and kids. The eating and drinking was just getting started, when the bored kids decided to play wiffle ball. I often wonder why "adults" don't partake in BBQ sports. I, of course, participated and hit a few doubles in the process. and the kids brought a giant wiffle ball bat that makes a dramatic hollow thud sound when you hit it. After working up a sweat and finishing my beer, I headed back to continue eating and drinking, and when things got boring, I played some more.

The next morning, we all went to the assisted living home to visit Grandma and were forced into watching Catholic TV for the entire hour. Her favorite show is of this guy preaching about how lust and betrayal are everyone's sins, and blah blah blah, but when when the guy said something vile or inappro and it got pretty graphic, we all tried to hold back our laughter.

After Catholic TV, my cousins (from NY) and I went on the Fenway Park tour before heading back to New York. I had never been in any area of the park other than the crappy bleachers, so that was pretty exciting. The tour guide made fun of my uncle the entire time, because he's a self-proclaimed and not ashamed Yankees fan.

-- simma simma --

So updates...I AM still working on the art project. I really don't want to lose sight of that, but when someone calls you and tells you that they're gonna publish your work, you can't really ignore that either.

The annual Littleton Appleman Triathlon is less than a few weeks away. I'm a little nervous despite the fact that I've done it 3 times already and I'm in much better shape than last year's tubbyness that still managed to flop across the finishline. And I've actually been training, so maybe I should just quit the needless anxiety.

Oh and I'm working on a new essay about the Tranny Parade in all it's glory. Supposedly, I'm not allowed to have my work published anywhere else, but fuck it, I'm totally posting it. It's too funny.