Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Theories from a pseudophysicist

So, I'm no scientist or medical expert, but oddly enough, my job is to read and understand poorly written material about complicated diseases (probably written by doctors, ugh) and rewrite it in a simplified version that anyone can understand. I see myself as a communicator, who isn't an expert, because I can't explain what I haven't written.

Although, my current job as a medical writer isn't exactly my dream job, these new experiences have cascaded my pseudoscience thinking, and I've come up with some theories:

When you throw a rock in the still lake, you create ripples that can last as long as the energy exerted, when the rock hits the water. I'm willing to continue to say that even when the ripples stop, energy is still being transferred, even though it may be very little. So, what happens when you wave you're arms in the air on a calm day? I say that the energy is transferred to the oxygen molecules in the air, and they keep transferring until they run out of energy. If you fan someone with your hand, they can feel the air being moved from your hand, but the energy doesn't stop, when they stop feeling the breeze. I think that energy, although its very little, is eternally moving in a continuum, yes on earth, yes in the atmosphere. I think the atmosphere and gravity do a great job at holding down things with weight, but weightless transferal of energy can go pretty much forever. So what does this mean? This means that every time you walk around town, you're bumping into several others' leftover energy. It means nothing really. The oxygen molecules that are moving around are still breathable, so no worries. But I gather that every one's leftover energy has to add up somehow, I just have to figure out how. Proving this point would be especially difficult, since I already admitted that it probably doesn't affect anything. How do you prove something that doesn't have an effect?

Oh well, so my next idea was going to solve the mystery of crop circles. I had always been mesmerized by this as a child. Already discrediting the idea that aliens did it, I always thought of creative ways that giant circles could appear in the corn fields. My first guess? A midnight pool party, where people rolled in and set up a giant above-ground pool (or more than one depending on the number of circles) and cleaned up before the sun rose. My next guess, more recent, had to do with sun spots. I recently shot this down, because apparently another common trait of crop circles are where the stalks are cut by the stem, and sun spots can't do that. But I was very curious about the effect that sunspots have on earth and crops. You could either view the sun as a light bulb, where the small writing on the bulb doesn't matter, because the light doesn't give focus, or you can think of the sun as a projector, which shines images over the earth. So if the sun can specify where light shines and where it doesn't, I wonder if this can happen in some sort of pattern. So in large open areas, could some crops get more light than others? Is this at all mistaken for bad soil, or the crescent effect? I have some seeds to sow on this one, but one conclusion I've come to...crop circles are caused by farmers looking to get a quick buck from the Daily Mirror.

The next idea revolves around gravity and energy similar to the first theory. Its silly really. So we all know what a ripple in the water looks like, but what if we took jell-o or something more viscous so we could hold it upside down and threw a rock in the center? Would the ripple be more convex because of gravity? Would we be able to tell since a standard ripple fluctuates between both convex and concave? Hold on...my guess would be that it would look the same, because energy is energy however you look at it. If you throw a ball up or down, it won't exert any special patterns, regardless of which direction you throw it in.

So, that's all I have for now. While I have the free time, I may get started on some more literary pieces.